


A Lifetime of Style

by cosmotarian



Category: South Park
Genre: Bromance, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Growing Old Together, Growing Up, M/M, Marriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 16,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8285051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmotarian/pseuds/cosmotarian
Summary: "Stan, you're my super best friend!" "You're my super best friend too, Kyle!" A series of chronological vignettes detailing the lives of Stan and Kyle from age 10 all the way into adulthood and beyond. Reviews are appreciated!





	1. Super Best Friends

Chapter 1: Super Best Friends

“Thanks for saving me, Stan.  You’re my super best friend!” Kyle says, eternally grateful that his best friend since preschool saved him from the David Blaine cult.

“You’re my super best friend too, Kyle!” Stan says, patting Kyle on the shoulder.

“Aww, that’s so sweet, you guys!  You wanna go get a room so you can make out for a while? Heh heh heh,” Cartman asks with a douchebag laugh.  The boys kick him in the balls repeatedly.

Even though Cartman’s been teasing Stan and Kyle about their deep friendship for years, his little jab earlier seemed to bother them as they journeyed home.

“Hey Kyle?”

“Yeah?”

“When you called me your super best friend, what did you mean by that?”

“Is Cartman’s joke bothering you?” Kyle asked as the two best friends sat on Stan’s front doorstep.

“No, I’m just curious.  How do you define a **_super_** best friend?”

“Well, Stan, when I called you my super best friend, I meant that I consider you my most special friend and the most important person of my life, to the exclusion of all others.  Not only can we count on each other to hang out and tell each other everything, but I view you as a person who I hope never leaves me or never lets anything or anyone come between us, not even death.”

“Well, Kyle, if that’s what you view it as, then you’re my super best friend too.”  The boys smile at each other, until Stan asks “Want to come inside and play some Guitar Hero?”

“You bet!  I’ll kick your ass this time!”

Stan shook his head.  “Kyle, dude, you say that every time…” he said as the two boys went into the house to play the famous guitar game.


	2. Funny

Chapter 2: Funny

The kids are now in sixth grade.  Stan is turning 12 in a couple of weeks.

It's a Friday afternoon on a typical October day in South Park.  Stan and Kyle are walking to Stan’s house so he could get his stuff for their weekly sleepover, which would be taking place at Kyle’s.

“Look, Stan, why can’t you just **_reactivate_** it?  You don’t even have to sign in!” Kyle tells his friend as they walk into Stan’s house.  The two inseparable pals are once again having the dreaded Facebook argument.

“Kyle, first it’s just _having_ a Facebook account.  Next, everyone, including you, will be on my ass about why I’m not on it enough.  I’m not getting suckered into that again, Kyle!”

Kyle raises his hands, conceding defeat.  The boys move on to another topic, as they don't want to have a fight on the day of their most sacred best friend tradition.  Stan packs a few things in his small overnight bag.  As the boys exit Stan’s room, Randy shows up.

“Oh, hey boys.  Where are you headed?”

“Kyle’s house.  It’s Friday, so that means our weekly sleepover.”

“That’s nice.  Stan, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Dad…”

“No, it’s fine, Stan.  Go ahead, Mr. Marsh, I’ll just wait outside.”

Once Randy sees Kyle close the front door, he pulls Stan aside.

“Look, Stan, I get that Kyle is your best friend.  But you’re turning 12 in two weeks, and Kyle’s going to be 12 soon too.  You guys are getting to that point where it’s going to be odd having weekly slumber parties, hanging out nearly every minute of the day, and showing all that affection.  People will think you two are funny.”

Stan sighs angrily.  Randy had given this speech many times.  Stan doesn't understand the big deal.   Sure, he and Kyle spend a great deal of time together and are more comfortable showering each other with love and affection than most boys their age, but why do people have to bring attention to it?  Either way, he couldn’t care less.  He’d _never_ abandon Kyle.

“What’s the big deal with being ‘funny,’ Dad?  Does ‘funny’ mean that Kyle and I can be ourselves and be content with our friendship?  Plus, doesn’t ‘funny’ mean you’re happy?  Because if that’s true, I’d rather be ‘funny’ with Kyle than miserable without him!” Stan says, standing up to Randy.  He takes his overnight bag and leaves with his super best friend.


	3. Home

Chapter 3: Home

Stan buries his head in his pillow, hating life at that moment.  The fourteen-year-old eighth grader tries to drown out the sounds of his parents having their ten millionth argument.  Maybe it’s another marriage-threatening spat.  Maybe it’s about Randy’s drinking.  Maybe Randy developed another cooking obsession.  Whatever it’s about, Stan doesn’t care to know.  He feels mostly alone in the world, despite the fact that he’s the middle school idol and his bond with Kyle is more profound than ever.

Meanwhile, a few houses down, Kyle is also trying to avoid his own family turbulence.  The thirteen-year-old thought that once he hit puberty and grew up a bit, his mom would be less of a nag.  Not so.  Sheila was breathing down Kyle’s back even _more_ , protesting against every single infraction (or at least what _she_ perceived to be an infraction), and spoiling Ike like crazy.  Gerald would just nod and acquiesce like a good henpecked husband.  Ike had become a self-absorbed spoiled brat who took his family for granted and had an expansive social calendar.  Kyle feels like he can’t seek refuge in his own home, despite being the second most popular guy in junior high and having Stan for a super best friend.

That’s what makes their weekly sleepovers (a tradition still upheld even in their teens) so special.  Just one night (many times it would even be two) where it’s nothing but snacks, video games, TV, and each other.  They would bond over hours of playing Call of Duty or laugh over Kyle’s fruitless attempts to beat Stan at Guitar Hero.  They would talk, laugh, and forget all about life’s problems.  Sleepovers are their own little sanctuary away from their mundane daily lives.

When Sharon and Randy’s argument gets loud enough that Stan can make out what they’re saying all the way upstairs, he decides he needs a break from this shit.  He sneaks down the stairs and out the door, making his way to Stark’s Pond.  Stan sees that Kyle is sitting at a bench, and he sits next to him.  They smile at each other, glad that they can be away from the fucked up people they have the displeasure of calling their families.  The boys vent, sharing their domestic problems with each other, happy that they have a little less than five years to get out of this ignorant mountain town.  They vow to always be there for each other and survive teenage problems together, never letting the cruel world of high school (a crude reality for them next year) tear them apart.

As they put their arms around each other, cuddled up at the pond, it clicks for them that “home” isn’t a house, or even a family.  Home is where there is a sense of belonging, safety, love, and security.  For Stan and Kyle, “home” is in their super best friendship and in each other. 


	4. Relationships

Chapter 4: Relationships

“Wendy dumped me again, dude,” Stan says as he walks into Kyle’s room, sounding as mopey as ever.

“What?  I thought you guys were doing great and that finally, you might actually be for real this time.  You celebrated your 18 month anniversary two weeks ago!” Kyle exclaims, feeling horribly for his friend and very angry at Wendy for the sudden act. 

Stan and Wendy had started dating again in the eighth grade after she dumped Token at the junior high homecoming dance.  As usual, it was their on-off relationship.  These past 18 months are the longest Stan and Wendy were ever together.

“That’s the thing, Ky.  One day, she’s all lovey-dovey with me, and then the next, she says that we’re just not working out anymore.  I mean, where did I go wrong?” Stan asks in complete sadness.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Stan.  You’re the most loyal, honest, faithful, and decent person I know.  If you didn’t work out for her, it’s her problem.  Either she has major issues or maybe she didn’t truly love you at all,” Kyle says, sitting next to Stan and wrapping an arm tightly around his best friend.

Stan nods in agreement and wraps an arm around Kyle in return, despite missing Wendy like crazy.

“You’re not going to do anything stupid like get crazy drunk or go goth again, are you?”

“No, dude, we’re juniors.  Going goth is totally fourth grade.  As for the booze part, I’ve been sober, and plan to keep it that way,” Stan says, reassuring his friend.

Kyle breathes a sigh of relief as the friends let each other go.

“But enough about me and my problems.  How are things with you and Bebe?”

Kyle and Bebe started dating in the middle of ninth grade and had been relatively stable ever since.  They had a brief two-month breakup in sophomore year because they wanted to be “just friends,” but they quickly found their way back together.  She reasoned that the allure of Kyle’s ass drew her back to him.

“Things are going okay.  I mean, I like her, she likes me, we get along great…your typical high school relationship, you know?”

“Well, at least you _have_ someone,” Stan says miserably.

“Hey, hey, hey…you’ll find a girl soon enough.  Either Wendy will realize what a dumbass mistake she made or some other girl who deserves you will come your way.”

“Thanks, Kyle, but I’m feeling a bit cynical about relationships tonight.”

“You know what you need?  A night hanging out with me.  Girls, relationships, dating, and anything related to them don’t exist.  Just you and your super best friend.  You’d also be spending the night, of course.”

“Aren’t you and Bebe supposed to be going to the movies tonight?”

“Stan, the movie theater will still be there tomorrow.  Bebe will still be around, and she will understand.  She knows that you’re a top priority in my life.  That’s what’s so great about her, dude.  I wouldn’t date her if she was the clingy, jealous type that kept me from hanging out with you.”

Stan smiles at Kyle’s dedication to their friendship.  Kyle calls Bebe and tells her that Stan is feeling sad because Wendy dumped him again.  He says that he wants to cheer him up.  Bebe says that is completely understandable and that they could go to the movies tomorrow afternoon.

“See, Stan?  I can juggle my best friend and my girlfriend.  Now, video game marathon time?”

“You’re on, dude!” Stan says, smiling as he joins Kyle on the floor to play video games all night.

Both boys are happy that they can juggle their high school relationships and friendship with each other.

 


	5. Futures

Chapter 5: Futures

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Bebe get into CU-Boulder.  Kyle is given a full scholarship, of course.

Cartman gets into NYU on a business program scholarship, after having an epiphany in ninth grade about needing to apply himself. 

Butters gets into the University of Georgia in order to be closer to his cousins and far away from his old life.

Wendy gets into Berkeley on a full ride, which Cartman replies with “Of course you did.  You’re a hippie!”

Stan freaks out.

Ever since he and Wendy got back together three months after the 18 month anniversary breakup, they decided they were going to take their relationship seriously this time.  Everything was going along smoothly until Wendy got the news from UC-Berkeley. 

After letting Stan vent for a few hours, Kyle finally manages to console his best friend, saying that with the advent of smartphones, Facebook (Kyle finally persuaded Stan to reactive his account the summer before high school started), Skype, Snapchat, and so on, he and Wendy could communicate as if they’re never apart.  He also reassured Stan that Wendy would see him on holidays, spring break, and summertime, and before any of them knew it, four years would fly by with nothing to stand in the way of true love.

Prom night comes a few days after Kyle’s consolation.  Stan and Wendy are elected king and queen by an overwhelming margin.  That night, Stan and Kyle lose their virginities to their respective girlfriends.  Wendy is mostly relieved that Stan didn’t puke on her or attempt to puke.  Bebe is happy and satisfied, mostly because she finally got to see Kyle’s ass in all its glory.

Graduation comes by even faster.  Kyle is valedictorian, just edging out Wendy.  The graduation party at Token’s is the wildest of their high school years, with booze, sex, weed, loud music, and revelry of all kinds.  Stan and Kyle are off somewhere drunkenly laughing and joking with each other, wrapping their arms around each other’s shoulders for support as they walk around.  Wendy and Bebe notice this, and something seems a bit off to them.  There was that aura, that glow, that _something_ between the boys that always seemed to illuminate whenever they were together.  It wasn’t anything that caused any serious jealousy, but it was a cause for concern on occasion.  The boys occasionally noticed strange flickers in their girlfriends’ eyes whenever they acted affectionate around each other.

The next day, once the boys and their girlfriends have nursed their hangovers, they head over to Shakey’s for some pizza.  The seating arrangements are different this time, however.  Stan sits next to Kyle and Wendy sits next to Bebe.  They talk about graduation, Token’s party, their summer plans, and of course, college.  There’s an odd glimmer in Wendy’s and Bebe’s eyes when Kyle puts his arm around the backrest behind Stan.  That mood is thankfully killed when Stan mentions his fears about college, namely, that he doesn’t know how he’ll survive it or be able to afford it.  The other three give him advice on applying for scholarships and grants.  Kyle is thankful that Wendy and Bebe want his super best friendship with Stan to continue into college.

 


	6. Gift

Chapter 6: Gift

Stan is getting along better than expected with Wendy gone.  He and Kyle are roommates and share nearly all of the same classes.  As super best friends, they wanted to spend as much of their non-girlfriend time together as possible. 

The only class that the boys do not share is Intro to Creative Writing.  Stan didn’t bug Kyle to sign up for that one.  The raven-haired teen reasoned that Kyle was never much of a literary person, and it would be a bit difficult to explain to the ginger Jew just how meaningful this class is to him.  Kyle doesn’t even know about Stan’s secret stash of poems and short stories.  Due to his many issues while growing up, Stan felt that writing was a therapeutic outlet to escape from his problems.  It was sure better than hitting the hooch.  Stan doesn’t think that his literary gift is some kind of big secret, but he is a bit afraid that Kyle would think it’s “gay.”  Plus, the topic never came up, so why bother sharing that intimate detail?

When the poetry unit of the creative writing class begins, the professor informs Stan that the student union holds a weekly poetry slam on Thursday nights at 8 and that he should think about reading one of his own works.  Stan is a bit hesitant but tells the professor he’ll keep it in mind.  Later that night, Stan has a burst of inspiration and gets out his journal to jot his thoughts down.  He examines the finished product and decides that this is the poem he will read at the slam.

On Thursday afternoon, Kyle tells Stan that he’s going to the movies with Bebe at the 7:45 PM showing.  Stan is relieved that he can now participate without Kyle having to find out about his hidden talent.  When Stan reads his poem on stage, he reads it with such passion that he doesn’t even notice Kyle and Bebe entering the building.  The movie was sold out, so the couple figured they’d just hang out in the student union.  Kyle is taken aback by how well-written the poem is and by Stan’s passionate delivery.  He is dumbfounded that Stan had never shared this facet of his life with him. 

Once Stan is done, he sees that Kyle is in the audience.  His cheeks turn scarlet red and he walks out of the building.  Kyle tells Bebe he’s going to talk to Stan, and for her not to wait up.  He chases after him.

“Dude, wait up!  Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Tell you about what?” Stan asks, completely embarrassed that his best friend of 15 years just discovered his deepest, darkest secret.

“Tell me that you’re such a literary genius!”

“The topic never came up.”

“You know about my talents, Stan!  I wish you would have shared yours.  Now, please, explain why you couldn’t tell me?”

“I was afraid you’d think it was…gay or something.”

“GAY?!  GAY?!  Dude, you’ve got an awesome gift!  That’s not gay at all.  That’s actually really cool.”

“You think so?”

“Of course!  Stan, did you hide this from me because you were afraid of what I’d think?”

“I was a little scared, yeah.”

Kyle put his arm around Stan’s shoulder.  “You can be a real dumbass sometimes, y’know?  I don’t care _what_ your talent is or what your dreams are.  You’re my _super best friend_ , and I’ll support you no matter what.”

Stan and Kyle smile at each other as they walk back to the dorms.  Stan shows Kyle a couple of his creative writing assignments, and Kyle tells him that he would make a terrific author someday.

One week after the poetry slam, Stan’s professor stops him again and hands him a list of competitions that he thinks Stan should submit his poems and short stories.  He tells Stan that he has a real gift.  Stan takes the list, smiles, and says he’ll consider it.

Later that day, Stan is working on a paper for his freshman ethics class when Kyle walks in.  Kyle sees the list on Stan’s bed.

“What’s this?”

“Oh, nothing.  Professor just gave me this list of contests for me to submit my stuff.”

“You’re going to enter, right?”

“I may, I may not, haven’t decided yet.”

“You’re _entering_ , Stan.  This isn’t debatable.  You have a real talent, and the world needs to know about it!  If you don’t enter at least one of these things, I’ll personally kick your ass!” Kyle says in that fiery tone of voice that would scare anyone straight.

Stan enters every contest on the list.

 


	7. Wendy

Chapter 7: Wendy

Wendy doesn’t return to Colorado until Thanksgiving, and a few days before her arrival, Kyle notices that Stan is making intensive preparations for her visit.  It’s especially apparent during their quick run to Target.

“Silk sheets, huh?  You wild man!” Kyle says, nudging his super best friend’s biceps and giving him a wink.

“Yeah, I want to make this special for her.  Her Christmas plans are still up in the air, so Thanksgiving might be the only time I get to see her until spring break,” Stan replied as they made their way toward the front of the store.

Stan and Wendy spend the first couple days of Thanksgiving break alone, trying to savor every moment.  One day over dinner, they do some catching up.  Wendy has heard all of Stan’s stories, which seem to have one recurring theme.

“So, have you made any new friends in Boulder?” she asks, curious to see if Stan has extended his social life.

Stan simply shrugs.  “I’ve made some friendly acquaintances in my creative writing class, but I wouldn’t exactly call them friends.”

Wendy has always known that her boyfriend’s super best friend is the most important person in his life, but seeing the two of them with fresh eyes for the first time in her life comes as somewhat of a shock.

The Marshes and the Broflovskis have a combined Thanksgiving celebration at the Marsh residence.  Bebe and Wendy attend too, of course.  They all pig out on turkey dinner, the men cheer for football, and Stan and Kyle meet up with Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Token, Craig, and Clyde for their annual Thanksgiving touch football game.  Stan’s team wins, of course, given that Stan was the star quarterback of the high school football team, and Kyle is a fast runner from his days on the high school basketball team.  After their game, they do some catching up. 

Stan and Wendy go to a movie on Thanksgiving night, and Stan invites Kyle and Bebe with them on a double date.  They accept the invitation, but for the rest of Wendy’s time home, they decide it’s a good idea to stay out of their way.

On Black Friday, Wendy and Bebe go Christmas shopping all day while Stan and Kyle stay in and play video games.

Stan spends the rest of the weekend alone with Wendy, and before they know it, it’s Sunday.  Stan drives Wendy to the airport in Denver in the afternoon, and they exchange tearful goodbyes.  Wendy promises to call him when she gets back to San Francisco. 

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Stan and Wendy’s calls and social media exchanges go from a few times a week to one half-hour exchange every week and a half or so to a five-minute catch up every couple weeks.  Wendy spends Christmas with her parents on a Caribbean cruise.  Bebe spends the holidays with relatives in Denver.  Stan spends Hanukkah with the Broflovskis, and Kyle spends Christmas with the Marshes.

Kyle and Bebe break up in mid-January.  On the Friday of the first week of spring semester, they have a serious discussion during a dinner date at a campus restaurant as to why they’re still together.  Kyle tries to say something, but gibberish ends up coming out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I get it.  I don’t have an answer either,” Bebe replies.  They agree that their relationship has become more of a ritual than anything genuine.  They amicably part, but the awkwardness of growing up together, dating all throughout high school, and just now realizing they don’t belong together lingers.  Kyle and Bebe avoid each other for a week or two before talking again.

Stan, aware of the growing tension in his own relationship, overcompensates by trying to get Kyle and Bebe back together.  They immediately lay down the law for him that it’s over, and Stan doesn’t make the attempt again.

Wendy’s phone calls get fewer and further between until one fateful Friday evening in March.  Kyle walks into his dorm to find Stan lying on his bed in the dark, wide eyes staring into the ceiling.  He looks as if he’s staring into an abyss of nothingness.

“It’s over, dude.  She said we’re on divergent paths in life and that we’ve drifted too far apart.  This isn’t like our elementary or high school breakups where we get back together three days later.  This is the real deal, Kyle.”

Kyle tosses his backpack on the floor and lies next to Stan.  They lie down and stare at the ceiling together in relative silence until Stan falls asleep.  Kyle then climbs into his own bed, letting sleep overtake him.

 


	8. Communal

Chapter 8: Communal

With Wendy and Bebe out of the picture, and with only one non-mutual class- Advanced Creative Writing- Stan and Kyle’s lives start to merge, practically uniting as one.  Their food and possessions are communal, although Stan knows to leave some Cheesy Poofs for Kyle, and Kyle knows that Stan likes to play with the Xbox One after a burst of inspiration writing something.  Their clothes start belonging to each other, and any boundary between their sides of the room vanishes.

Kyle still reads Stan’s writings, and Stan starts keeping a special box of the works Kyle loves most. 

Kyle makes a couple of friends from his economics classes, mostly girls that had hoped Kyle would ask them out before they met Stan and realized that it wasn’t in the cards.  While Stan and Kyle would occasionally go out with them, Kyle spends most of his time and nearly all of his Friday evenings in his dorm with Stan.  In the beginning, it’s because Stan is too depressed about losing Wendy to do anything at all; and Kyle would be _damned_ if he lets Stan fall into some sort of self-destructive habit on his watch.  After a while, however, it becomes routine.

That summer, they pay the summer housing fee and stay in their dorm, wanting to disassociate themselves from South Park any way they can.  Stan buys a hotplate, figuring it’s time for them to “rough it” like real college students do, making simple dishes like Ramen and mac and cheese.

Kyle gets a summer internship at a law firm, and Stan ends up becoming his creative writing professor’s research assistant.  Stan opens up his first savings account and puts a portion of his research assistant compensation in it along with his writing contest winnings.

On a Saturday night in mid-June, a severe thunderstorm arrives in Boulder.  Stan and Kyle rent a bunch of movies and order pizza.  They sit on Stan’s bed, lying down when their backs get tired of hunching over. 

A crack of thunder echoes through the room loud enough to burst eardrums.  Stan jumps, and his and Kyle’s bodies are mere inches away from spooning.  Kyle tries to move away when he feels Stan’s chest against his back, but Stan’s thrown his arm around Kyle the moment of the thunder boom and hasn’t let go.  Kyle carefully lies against him, and thinks that they’re too close.

Movie nights are very frequent that summer.

 


	9. Finally

Chapter 9: Finally

Fall semester starts, and the boys are now sophomores.  They only have one class together. 

Stan has some ideas for his first book, and he’s been jotting down outlines of them.  Ever since mid-August, he’s been growing a beard.  Kyle tells him that he’s learned to deal with having a pretentious English major for a super best friend, but he refuses to be friends _or_ roommates with someone who looks like a hipster.  Stan immediately gets the message and shaves the beard, never growing one again.

One Friday evening in mid-September, Kyle comes back to the dorms after hanging out in the student union with Bebe and Kenny, who have been casually dating since May.  He sees that Stan is checking himself out in the mirror.

“Going out on a Friday night for once, Stan?” Kyle asks his friend.  He’s happy that Stan is finally over Wendy and starting to act like his old self again.

“Yeah, this guy in my literary analysis class is throwing a party in his apartment.  I hear he throws some pretty good ones.  You want to come?”

“Nah, that’s okay.  I’ve got to do this weekly assignment in econometrics, and this class is a killer.  Gotta maintain that GPA and class rank, you know?”

“Come on, Ky.  It’s Friday night!  You can do that tomorrow.”

“Nah, I’d rather get it over with.  Besides, I don’t know any of these people.  I’d feel a bit awkward.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.  You go on and have a good time!  You deserve it!”

“Thanks, dude.  See you later.  Let me know if you need anything,” Stan says, giving Kyle an unthinking kiss on the cheek.

“I will.  Have fun!” Kyle says, giving Stan an unthinking kiss on the cheek as well.

It isn’t until Stan is halfway down the hallway that he realizes what he’s done.  He turns around and goes back to his dorm, finding Kyle sitting frozen in place from where he was before.  Kyle is sitting there realizing what just happened as well.  Stan shuts the door and sits on Kyle’s bed.

“Ky?”

“Yeah, Stan?”

“We’re more than super best friends, aren’t we?”

“I think what just happened was an accident, but to be quite honest, I think we’ve crossed that line _eons_ ago.”

“Yeah.  I think it’s just taken us a long time to figure it out,” Stan says as he walks toward Kyle, standing in front of him.

“I’m just going to try something,” Stan explains as he takes Kyle’s face in his hands and gives him a passionate kiss on the lips.  He pulls back slowly, with Kyle looking at him in stunned silence.

“Whoa, dude,” Kyle breathes.

Suddenly, it all makes sense.  The fact that they’ve always been closer than most guy friends.  The fact that they’ve always been dependent on each other.  The hugs.  The touches.  The affection.  Their little nicknames for each other.  The “I love yous.”  The fact that they could live without their ex-girlfriends, but would die without the other around.  It all **_finally_**  clicks for them, like the light bulbs of their minds finally flickered on.

“I think I’ll ditch this party,” Stan purrs into Kyle’s ear.

“Yeah, this econometrics homework _definitely_ won’t be getting done tonight,” Kyle winks and grins at his super best friend.

They don’t leave their dorm at all that weekend.

 


	10. Out

Chapter 10: Out

Kyle and Stan only tell a few people about their relationship, mostly because the people they’ve told are more surprised at the fact that they weren’t dating _already_ than the fact that they’re dating _now_.  Kenny tells them “It’s about time you two fucking gaywads got together.”  One day, Bebe sees Stan and Kyle walking into the student union holding hands.  She smiles, waves, and congratulates them. 

When Thanksgiving break begins, Stan and Kyle immediately leave campus and drive to South Park.  They decide to tell Kyle’s family first.  They reason that Sheila may be a bit difficult, but she’ll be nowhere as impossible to deal with as Randy.

Gerald takes the news very well, giving the boys some typical fatherly advice on how to handle their relationship.  Sheila screams “WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!” for about two minutes straight before sitting down to catch her breath.  After sitting there in silence for about ten minutes, she tells Kyle “Well, if you ended up gay with someone, I’m glad it was with Stanley.”  Ike simply says “Duh.”  Kyle asks the fifteen-year-old how he could have known about him and Stan, and he says “Kyle, I’m not just _book_ smart, you know.” 

The Broflovskis (plus Stan) have a nice, quiet pre-Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday night because Kyle will be spending Thanksgiving Day with the Marshes.

Thanksgiving dinner at Stan’s is an _entirely_ different story.  In attendance are Randy, Sharon, Shelly, Stan, Jimbo, Ned, Marvin, and Kyle.  The meal is completely awkward, as Stan and Kyle try to make up lame justifications for breaking up with their long-term girlfriends.  While dessert and coffee are being served, the duo announces their relationship to the Marsh clan.  Sharon congratulates and hugs them.  Jimbo and Ned state that they knew something was “off” about Stan when he refused to go hunting.  Shelly acts weird around them for about five minutes until she defaults back to calling them turds.  Marvin calls Stan “Billy” per usual.  Randy explodes in anger, blaming Kyle for turning Stan “funny,” as well as Sharon for allowing the boys to have weekly sleepovers until high school graduation.  He storms out of the house and gets drunk at a nearby bar, forcing Sharon to drag him home.  The next day, Randy tells Stan that he needs time to fully process everything. 

After Thanksgiving break, Kenny calls Cartman and Butters and tells them the news.  Butters congratulates them, and Cartman repeatedly gloats “I knew it!”

 


	11. Passion

Chapter 11: Passion

Stan and Kyle go to a wild party at a fraternity house on the Friday night after December finals are over.  Kyle’s friend from econometrics is best friends with the vice president of the fraternity, which worked out in his and Stan’s favor.  They’re into the mood of the party, completely intoxicated by the endless dancing and the mood of their being together.

Around midnight, Stan decides he’s bored and tells Kyle he wants to go home.  Kyle is a bit ambivalent at first, until Stan grabs Kyle’s crotch and purrs “Take me home.”  Kyle could tell by his actions, his tone of voice, and his facial expressions that there’s something that he has up his sleeve.  They leave anyway.

They arrive back giggling like they’re drunk (even though pop is the strongest thing they drank), their arms around each other’s shoulders.  Stan shuts and locks the door of the dorm room, and then he slams Kyle into the wall, kissing him passionately.  Coats, scarves, hats, gloves, shoes, socks, shirts, pants, belts, and underwear are strewn throughout the room as they continue their endless makeout session, falling onto Stan’s bed.

Stan pulls a small plastic packet out of his nightstand and places it into the palm of Kyle’s hand.

“Oh,” Kyle said, realizing what Stan wants.  He pulls back from Stan and sits up.  “ ** _That_** is what you meant by ‘Take me home.’  I thought we’d maybe-“ he trails off by making an “o” shape with his mouth and proceeding to move his head up and down.  He turns crimson, realizing the crude nature of his gesture.

Stan pants, blushing also. “S-sorry, Kyle.  I thought, well, we don’t have to,” he says, gently stroking Kyle’s cheek.  “If you don’t want to-“

“I never said I didn’t want to.  I was just wondering if we should discuss things first.  You know, like who’s gon-“

Stan sits up as well, interrupting Kyle with a kiss.

“I love you, Kyle,” Stan says, embracing his boyfriend and super best friend.

“I love you too, Stan.”

“If you aren’t ready, we can wait as long as you want.”

Kyle doesn’t respond for about a minute, catching his breath with their foreheads pressed together.

“Okay…I’m ready.  Let’s do this.”

Stan smiles, lying back down and caressing Kyle’s well-toned torso and abs.  Kyle reaches into the nightstand and finds another small packet.  He places it in the palm of Stan’s hand.

“Uh, Kye?” Stan asks, confused.

“That’s for when it’s your turn,” the ginger Jew winks at his raven-haired lover.

Kyle opens the package in his hand and slips the rubber item on.  He gets a bottle out of the drawer and spreads its cold, gel contents over his and between Stan’s legs.  Kyle kisses him again, repositions himself, and looks into Stan’s eyes.  He realizes that Stan’s lost puppy look is gone.

Stan is naked underneath Kyle, looking into his eyes with love, passion, and complete trust.

 


	12. Adulthood

Chapter 12: Adulthood

Before Stan and Kyle know it, college graduation arrives.  Kyle graduates _summa cum laude_ with a 4.0 GPA, being recognized as the top graduate in the economics program.  Stan graduates _cum laude_ and is recognized as a top graduate in the English program, earning solid A’s in all of his English classes.

Kyle applies to numerous jobs all over the country.  The landlord allows them to stay in their apartment until Kyle gets a job offer.  There’s enough money left over in Kyle’s college trust fund to sustain them.  In addition to working on his novel, Stan writes a few articles for the Boulder _Daily Camera_ for compensation in order to feel self-sufficient.  Whenever Stan has writer’s block, Kyle gives him his full attention.  They’d walk around the town, grab an ice cream, or just spend time cuddling on the couch.

The boys quickly fall into a routine.  In the morning, they get up, shower, shave, wash up, spend some early morning “alone time,” and make breakfast.  Afterward, Stan immediately works on his novel, while Kyle searches for more jobs and awaits that coveted offer letter.  Afternoon routines include lunch and an intense makeout session before Stan spends hours writing and editing.  In the evening, they would cook dinner.  Afterward, Stan writes a little more, with an hour of TV time with Kyle.  Finally, the day is wrapped up with shower, wash up, sex, and bed, although most nights, Stan would get up and write into the night.

There are quite a few times when Kyle feels a twinge of jealousy when he sees Stan furiously typing away at the computer.  He feels as if Stan got what he wanted, while he’s still an unemployed valedictorian desperate for work.  The jealousy heats up whenever Stan comes in from the mailbox with letters.  He’s won a few more contests, and the prize money is quite hefty.  Another letter states that several of his short stories have been published in literary journals.  One night, Stan comes in giddy with a letter stating that a local literary presser has published a book of some of his short stories and journals.  Kyle hugs him, kisses him, and takes him out to dinner to celebrate.  It’s not until they’re in bed, naked bodies entangled in each other, that Kyle begins to seethe.

They get into a huge fight a few days later.  Some hurtful words are exchanged, and Kyle ends up sleeping on the couch.  The next morning, Stan wakes Kyle up to talk about it calmly and rationally.  They talk, and Stan encourages Kyle to keep pressing on and researching his options.  Kyle apologizes for being a jealous baby, and tells Stan that he truly _is_ proud of him for his achievements.  The two share a warm embrace and end up having blissful make-up sex.

Two days later, Kyle finally has some breakthroughs.  He lands a handful of interviews, many of which are out of state.  While Kyle is away interviewing in a city across the country, Stan runs into a literary agent.  The agent asks Stan if he’s ever thought of writing a novel.  Stan tells him that he’s got a first draft nearly finished, and after that meeting, he begins writing and revising obsessively.

One night, Stan is tearing a chapter apart and putting it back together when Kyle walks inside with his own letter.  He nervously hands Stan the letter.  It’s from a business and political consulting firm.  It’s the job offer of a lifetime.

“Washington, D.C., huh?” Stan gulps.

Kyle nods.

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Anything for you, Kyle,” Stan smiles, looking into his boyfriend’s eyes with love as he strokes his cheek.

 


	13. Closeted

Chapter 13: Closeted

Two years pass since Stan and Kyle’s move to the Beltway, and Stan’s publisher is spending a fortune on the book’s advertising campaign.  A young journalist is sent to interview him in order to figure out how to market Stan.  After all, Stan is tall, young, handsome, and physically fit, and nothing sells like sex.

The interviewer first asks basic questions like favorite food and favorite music, then moves onto more personal questions like childhood and time in college.  When she asks him whether or not he’s found a lucky lady, Stan is just about to tell her about Kyle and their fifth official anniversary that upcoming Friday and stops.  He reasons that all of the characters in his book are straight, and the story is too good to have the reader dismiss just because it may not seem genuine coming from a gay author.  He flashes her that winning smile he always used to charm Wendy with and states he’s not looking at the moment.

When Stan tells Kyle about the interview, he’s sure it’s the very first time he and Kyle have ever screamed at each other. 

“So you’re ashamed, is that it?!” Kyle hollers.

“Oh, so I was just supposed to say ‘Yeah, Lisa, I’m seeing someone.  I’m in a relationship with my life-long male best friend.’  Yeah, that’ll certainly sell!” Stan hollers back.

“You’re such a fucking coward, Stan!” Kyle screams as he half drops, half throws a plate on the kitchen floor and sees Stan violently spasm at the noise.

Kyle’s anger evaporates almost instantly.  Shelly used to hit Stan and throw things at him just because she felt like it.  Sharon and Randy would scream at each other at least once a week.  Kyle pulls Stan into his arms.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Stan.  Please forgive me,” Kyle begs. 

“No, Kyle, I’m sorry.  You’re right, it was a cowardly thing to do.  I’ll come out, be honest with the interviewer, whatever you want,” Stay says, hugging Kyle back and accepting the apology.

“No, Stan, it’s okay.  I mean, you moved all the way out here to give me a chance.  It’s only fair that I play along and give _you_ a chance.  I love you, Stan.”

“I love you too, Kyle.”

That night, they have the wildest makeup sex of their lives, and the neighbors have to bang on the bedroom wall to quiet them down.

 


	14. Success

Chapter 14: Success

The ad campaign is flawlessly executed.  The book is a bestseller.  Stan gets stopped on the street one day and is asked by about twenty people if they can have his autograph.  He blushes a little as he does so.  Kyle gets a promotion and a raise, and they buy a house in Alexandria, Virginia, wanting to get that suburban feel while still being right across the Potomac from the city.  It’s on moving day that they realize how fortunate they are that they’re among the lucky few who managed to get out of South Park.

Stan decides it’s time to stop answering the “Are you seeing anyone?” question with canned one-liners and start telling the truth.  He ends up on the front cover of _The Advocate_ and gets interviews with national and local LGBT media.  It’s around this time that Randy realizes his son isn’t going to stop being gay, nor will he stop seeing Kyle.  He flies out to DC and has lunch with them, telling them that he’s acknowledged the truth and gives them his full blessing. 

One day, Stan digs out his trunk full of stuff from college and finds the poems he used to separate out because Kyle loved them so much.  He copies each of them into a leather-bound journal and then gives it to Kyle.  Kyle immediately recognizes them and tells Stan that he should send them to the publisher along with the other poems and short stories they requested.

“No,” Stan replies, kissing Kyle on the forehead. “These are only for you.”

 


	15. Matrimony

Chapter 15: Matrimony

Stan proposes to Kyle during a dinner date celebrating their seventh anniversary and the publication of Stan’s second book.  Granted, they had been introducing each other as “husband” for the past year or two, but in a post- _Obergefell_ world, they want to make this official, for their sake and that of any prospective children.

Although they could host their wedding in DC, Stan and Kyle remember that they were the ones who helped bring about the legalization of marriage equality in Colorado, prompting their decision to have their wedding in Denver in order to use their achievement.  Plus, they would get to go back home for a few days.  Despite their quick adjustment to Beltway life, there were times when they missed the mountains.

Wedding planning is way easier than expected.  Kyle hasn’t practiced Judaism since he was 20, and Stan’s Catholic, where his rituals wouldn’t exactly jive with Church teaching.  Thus, they manage to avoid the whole interfaith marriage debate.  Stan and Kyle end up choosing to have their ceremony and reception in a downtown hotel. 

Their wedding day finally arrives.  Many people they know are present.  Stan, wearing a blue tuxedo (representing the color of his eyes and his childhood poof ball hat), and Kyle, wearing a green tuxedo (representing the color of his eyes and his childhood ushanka), stand before the justice of the peace and exchange vows.

“Do you, Kyle James Broflovski, take Stanley Randall Marsh to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” Kyle says, with slightly wet eyes and the cheesiest grin ever.

“And do you, Stanley Randall Marsh, take Kyle James Broflovski to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” Stan says, just as joyful.

“Then by the power vested in me by the state of Colorado, I now pronounce you spouses for life!”

Stan and Kyle share a passionate kiss.  Everyone in attendance, even Cartman, cheers for the grooms.  They share another kiss, ready to begin many years of blissful matrimony.


	16. Domesticity

Chapter 16: Domesticity

One evening, Kyle comes home from work to find Stan cooking dinner.  Kyle quietly takes off his shoes, jacket, and tie, and sneaks up behind Stan to wrap his arms around him and kiss him all over his cheek and neck. 

“Evening babe,” Kyle purrs into Stan’s ear as he continues his romantic assault.  Being as equally tall as his husband had its advantages.

“Good evening yourself,” Stan says, smiling.  “How was work?”

“The usual.  I’ve got this new client.  Young, hip, running for Congress in our district.  I think he’d be a shoo-in if he won the primary.”

“Really?  What’s he like?”

“Millennial.  Moderate.  The perfect kind of candidate to keep our district blue.  Anyway, enough about me.  How was your day?  How’s the draft of your third book coming along?”

“It’s coming.  I’ve already got eight chapters written, and the publisher wants two more by the end of the month,” Stan sighs.

“Stan, you sound like you’re overworked.  It’s Friday.  Let’s just enjoy our dinner with a nice glass of merlot, catch up on our favorite shows, and maybe we could have some dessert in bed,” Kyle says, whispering the “dessert” part into Stan’s ear.

“Can we just skip the first two and have dessert?” Stan asks.

“You know the saying.  You can’t have your pudding if you don’t eat your meat!  What’s for dinner, anyway?”

“Buffalo chicken and vegetable stir fry.”

“Sounds great.  I’ll pour the wine,” Kyle says, grabbing the bottle and wine glasses.

During dinner, they discuss anything not work related.  Afterward, they cuddle on the couch and watch TV, until Kyle begins to kiss Stan and undo his shirt.  “Time for dessert,” Kyle grins.  They walk to the bedroom, undressing themselves and kissing passionately. 

After intense lovemaking, they cuddle and pillow talk under the blankets.

“Kyle?”

“Yeah, Stan?”

“I’ve been thinking, especially after we discussed our finances the other day…”

“About?”

“Well, about the fact that we’re in our late 20s, practically 30.  I mean, we’re not getting any younger, and after being married for a little over a year, I think it’s time to expand our family.”

“You’re saying…”

“Yes.  Kye, I think we should adopt.”

 


	17. Family

Chapter 17: Family

One year after Stan and Kyle visit an adoption agency, fill out copious amounts of paperwork, and subject themselves to rigorous interviews, the agency finally calls.  When they go in, the case manager tells them about a pair of two-year-old twin boys, Robert and Ryan, who had been at the agency for about three months.  Their parents were killed by a drunk driver.  Stan shudders at the idea of two toddlers being orphaned in an instant, and Kyle asks the case worker what’s next in the adoption process.  A couple months later, the boys are officially placed with Stan and Kyle.

The first week is the most tumultuous of their lives.  Handling two terrible toddlers roaming around the house is a bigger workload than any book draft or political client.  The twins spend the first three days crying all night for mommy and daddy.  Stan and Kyle each carry a boy around the house until they cry themselves to sleep.  Once they put the boys to bed, Stan and Kyle hug and cry, wondering if this whole adoption thing was such a good idea.

It isn’t until the first week from hell is over that things start to improve.  The bedtime crying stops, although Kyle and Stan still cry nightly out of empathy for their new sons.  A few days later, when there’s finally a night without tears, they tell the boys it’s bedtime.  The twins make their way to their beds.  Robert goes to the bookshelf and hands Kyle a book.

“Stow-ee?” the boy asks Kyle, pronouncing “story” as any toddler would.  Kyle grabs it and carries Robert downstairs, followed by Stan who carries Ryan.  They sit on the couch, and Kyle reads _The Cat in the Hat_.  Ryan falls asleep in Stan’s lap just before Kyle finishes.  They take the boys upstairs and place them in their beds, waiting for them to fall asleep. 

Once the twins are asleep and Stan and Kyle are in bed, they share a few tender kisses and cuddle, stating that they wouldn’t trade this for anything else.

 


	18. School

Chapter 18: School

Ryan is so thrilled about his first day of kindergarten that every day during the week leading up to it, he asks Stan and Kyle if it’s time to go yet during breakfast.  Robert’s excitement isn’t quite so evident, but Kyle does catch him checking his backpack and going over the necessary list of supplies in a very adult-sounding tone: “Let’s see, I got eraser, folder, marker, crayons…”

It’s the night before the first day of school, and they meet with their teacher, Mr. Harrison, as a family.  Ryan is dragging Stan forward by the hand, and Robert and Kyle are walking together side by side behind the other two.  Ryan pulls Stan right up to the teacher and introduces him, “Hi, this is my Dad!”

Stan shakes Mr. Harrison’s hand, “Hi, I’m Stan.”

“And this is my Daddy and my brother,” Ryan points back at Kyle and Robert.  Mr. Harrison shakes Kyle’s extended hand.

“Kyle.  We’re the Marsh-Broflovski family.  These are our sons, Ryan and Robert.”

The twins go off to the play area and start playing with blocks in order to pass the time.

Meanwhile, Kyle and Stan sit at a table all the way in the corner and get pamphlets on the PTA, an outline of class lessons, and a calendar of events throughout the year that they can sign up to volunteer for.  The teacher seems nice.  Despite the fact that his last name rhymes with their very colorful and rude fourth grade teacher, Mr. Harrison’s personality is the exact opposite.  He’s smart, friendly, mid-to-late 30s, tall, with a seemingly athletic build. 

He asks Stan and Kyle if the boys have any nicknames.

“Well, sometimes we call them Rob and Ry…” Kyle tells him.

“So, should we call them by their nicknames or their full names?” Mr. Harrison asks.

Stan calls the question out to the boys.  Ryan says that either Ryan or Ry is fine, but Robert is insistent on being called by his full name.

Mr. Harrison nods in understanding.

Kyle and Stan are a bit teary-eyed now that their boys are now in kindergarten.  Ryan runs straight to his cubby and puts his supplies inside, but Robert stops just inside the doorway, scans the full room, and still holds Kyle’s hand.

“When school is over, you come get us?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Stan tells him.  “And we’ll cook your favorite dinner and you can tell us about your first day.”

“Mmmkay,” Robert says, “Don’t leave yet.”

He goes to his own cubby, puts his stuff in, and takes Ryan back to their fathers.  They hug and kiss goodbye, and the boys go off to find their desks.  Ryan sits next to Connor, who immediately became his best friend on the first day of daycare two years ago.  Robert sits next to Andrew.  The two introduce themselves and become instant buddies.

It’s not until the 4th grade that some kid with a Southern Baptist mother tells Ryan and Robert that their dads are fags and all four of them are going to hell.  Ryan spits back that her father abandoned her and her mother because he didn’t love them, and that she’s just jealous that they have two. 

A scuffle ensues, and all three of them end up in the principal’s office.  Kyle gets called in.  The girl’s mother can’t leave work to meet with the principal.

Kyle defends his sons for defending themselves and refuses to tell them that anything they did, beyond telling the girl that her father doesn’t love her, was wrong.  The principal sighs and gives up in exasperation and sends the boys home with Kyle.  For the next two years, whenever the school needs to contact the Marsh-Broflovski clan, Stan gets the call.

 


	19. Closure

Chapter 19: Closure

Randy dies from cirrhosis-related complications three months after Stan’s 37th birthday.  On the outside, Stan seems to take the news more calmly than expected, although on the inside, he’s conflicted and torn apart.

As they drive past the South Park welcome sign, Stan and Kyle notice how much South Park has changed.  There are quite a few new office buildings, stores, shops, and restaurants, along with many new apartments and houses. 

“Wow, I don’t think this is the white bread, redneck, quiet mountain town we once knew,” Stan says with a sarcastic laugh.

“I guess urbanization is even starting to affect small towns,” Kyle observes.

“Daddy, what does ‘urbanization’ mean?” Robert asks in his curious ten-year-old voice.

“It means that more people move to cities and suburbs, or small towns have a huge growth in population and become more urban in nature,” Ryan cuts in.

“Show-off,” Robert hisses.

“I’m not a show-off!” Ryan cries, gently socking Robert in the upper arm.

“Hey, hey, hey, you promised you would behave on this trip!  Now apologize to each other,” Kyle orders.  The boys know once either father, _especially_ Kyle, gives an order, they’d better obey it.  They promptly exchange sorry’s and go back to being quiet.

They arrive at the Marsh residence five minutes later.  Kyle embraces Sharon and Shelly, extending his condolences.  As Stan and Kyle set the suitcases in Stan’s old room, it dawns on Stan how empty the Marsh residence is becoming, especially considering Randy is now with Marvin, Jimbo, Ned, and Sparky.

A couple hours later, Stan and Kyle take a stroll around South Park with the boys to see the changes.

As they walk past a light green house and see someone open the door, they immediately turn their heads, only to see a little girl get the newspaper.  A young family purchased it after Liane had a near-death stroke last year, and Cartman moved her to an extended care facility just two miles from his penthouse in New York City. 

The elementary school looks the same, apart from some remodeling and modernization.  Some of the old small businesses remain.  A revitalized SoDoSoPa sits in Kenny’s old neighborhood.  Kenny’s house was demolished after Stuart was sentenced to life in prison for murdering his wife. 

Stan, Kyle, and their sons walk past a flamboyant purple house, only to be greeted by Stephen Stotch and his partner Albert.  They purchased it after Big Gay Al and Mr. Slave moved to Key West to fully live the gay life.  Stephen came to terms with his homosexuality and divorced Linda.  Linda ran away and never looked back. 

Stan and Kyle both agree that they’ve seen their fair share of changes and return home with a pizza so Sharon doesn’t have to cook.

After the funeral Mass and burial, Sharon tells Stan, Kyle, and Shelly that she’ll be fine if they leave, but they insist on staying for a few more days to help out.  The day after the funeral, Sharon hands Stan and Kyle a letter and tells them that Randy didn’t want them to read it until after the funeral.  Stan and Kyle sit on the bed and read Randy’s letter, hmphing in a couple parts, nodding in others, and shedding a couple tears throughout the rest.  It’s a long letter.  As soon as they finish reading it, Stan begins to shed tears about his father’s death for the first time.  He cries about how complicated their relationship was during his childhood and how grateful he was that the last few years were the best for their father/son relationship.  The twins come in and see Stan crying, and they climb on the bed to hug him along with Kyle, telling him “Don’t cry, Dad,” shedding a couple tears of their own. 

Once everything calms down, Stan gains some perspective.  He tells Kyle and his sons that he’s glad he made this trip because he finally gained a sense of closure.  He knows his Dad loved him, paid him final respects, and even got to see some of the changes, both good and bad, that occurred in South Park. 

One week after the funeral, the Marsh-Broflovski family bids their goodbyes to Sharon, promising to keep in contact.  Stan feels he’s ready to face the world again.

 


	20. Talk

Chapter 20: Talk

Stan is looking for his favorite tie to wear to a dinner party hosted by Kyle’s firm when Robert knocks on the door.

“Dad?”

“Hey, Rob, what’s up?”  In recent months, Robert had eased up to people shortening his name.  He has to admit that “Rob” sounds cooler than “Robert.”

“I kinda have a few questions about…stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Well…I’m embarrassed to say it.  Ryan’s got the same questions,” Rob clears his throat.

“Hmm, you and Ryan have the _same_ questions?” Stan asks.  He senses what he’s trying to say, but he prefers for Rob to be honest.

“Can I get him?  I think it’s better if you hear from both of us...”

“No, you _can’t_.  But you most certainly _may_ ,” Stan says.  He can’t help but put that English degree to use.

Rob brings Ryan over.

“Well, Dad, we’ve been experiencing some weird stuff…” Rob begins.

The twelve-year-olds explain everything to him, such as having dirty dreams, feeling “funny” around girls, wanting to date, etc.

“Ah, I knew I’d have to give the whole ‘You’re growing up’ speech one day…” Stan grins.

When Kyle gets home from work, the family gathers in the living room to have “the talk.”  Kyle simplifies things for them, while Stan tries to be colorful and animated, including putting on a puppet show simulating sex acts.  Kyle pinches the bridge of his nose, a habit he had picked up from being around his husband all his life.  Rob and Ryan are horrified, never feeling more embarrassed in their lives.  After they’ve had enough, the twins excuse themselves to their room.

Kyle stops them as they’re halfway up the stairs.

“If you have any more questions, come to _me_ ,” the ginger Jew says, wanting to spare them the horror of another Stanley Marsh puppet show.

Kyle walks up to Stan and says “Dude, don’t _ever_ do that again.  That’s more embarrassing than anything your Dad did.”

 


	21. Fidelity

Chapter 21: Fidelity

Kyle loves being a D.C. consultant.  However, one client almost turns his life upside down.  His name is Charles Rutt, and he’s a doctor running for the United States Senate in North Carolina.  He hopes to become the first openly gay Senator from the South, as well as the first Democrat to represent North Carolina after Kay Hagan lost in 2014.  Kyle gives Charles campaign tips about how to win as a gay Democrat in a Southern state. 

He really likes Kyle’s advice, and the two of them have coffee together one day.  They plan dinner for next week.  Stan isn’t too thrilled about this coffee meeting because his publisher is from North Carolina, and he’s told Stan gossip from back home about how Charles is known as seductive and man-hungry.

Kyle neglects to mention the dinner.

At dinner, Charles tells Kyle all about Southern life and then asks if it’s okay if he could see pictures of Kyle’s family and childhood.  Kyle knows that he and Stan have a plethora of photo albums and invites him over to go through them.

“The boys will love to meet you, especially Ryan.  He wants to go into medicine,” Kyle grins.  He doesn’t say this aloud, but he hopes that if Stan meets him, he’ll relax.  Charles has that Southern Gentleman persona down pat, and true gentlemen aren’t spouse stealers.

“Stan?  Rob?  Ry?” Kyle calls out as they walk into the empty house.  Kyle is a bit confused, considering they’re all supposed to be home.

Kyle places a few photo albums on the couch.  Charles looks at some pictures on the shelf, which are all of Kyle, Stan, the boys and their grandparents, Kyle and the boys, Stan and the boys, the boys, and of course, just Kyle and Stan. 

“How long have you known Sam?” he asks.

“Stan,” Kyle corrects, “since we were babies…our parents were best friends forever, so they’d bring us along for visits.”

“Wow,” he comments.

Kyle and Charles sit on the couch holding the book between them, and Kyle feels odd whenever Charles reaches across him to turn a page.  The first few pages are pictures of him and Stan throughout the years.

They finish the book, and Kyle is surprised to see how close they’re sitting.  Kyle cheeks flush red when he asks his client what else he’d like to see.

Kyle shows Charles pictures of him and Stan in their sports uniforms.

“Ah, you were a stud in high school…well, you still are in my book,” he says, stroking Kyle’s hair.  Kyle is about to make him leave when he feels lips press against his.

From the second Kyle saw his client’s arm move toward him, he knew Stan was going to walk in.  Life isn’t fair, after all.

The door opens, and it sounds as if a pin just dropped.  Stan and the boys stop dead in their tracks as Kyle pushes Charles away.  He gathers his things and leaves without a word.

Stan sends the boys to their room, and Kyle starts an endless rant about how this was just supposed to be a work-related meeting, how he was sure everyone was home, how he didn’t kiss the man back, and that Stan had to believe him.

“Why did you lie about what you were doing tonight?” Stan asks with concern.

“Because I didn’t want to have a fight.  Because…Stan…how could I ever…” Kyle can’t even manage to say the word “cheat.”

“We don’t lie to each other, Kyle,” Stan says, clearing his throat.

It’s a tense evening.  The boys do their homework, Kyle reads _The Washington Post_ , and Stan watches an old Broncos game on the NFL Channel. 

“Where’d you three go?” Kyle asks.

“We went out to get some ice cream.  There’s some frozen yogurt for you in the freezer,” Stan replies.

Stan goes to bed, and Kyle sleeps on the couch, not because Stan made him, but because he feels so guilty and horrible.  Ryan and Robert see him there in the morning and get ready for school without so much as a word.  Kyle wakes up when Ryan accidentally drops his algebra book on the floor.  They hug their dad and then leave.

The next day, the twins come home to find their fathers making out on the couch like horny sixteen-year-olds.  Both boys are so relieved that they don’t spew their normal “Get a room, you two!” complaint and just quietly head upstairs.

Charles wins the primary but loses in November due to a Republican wave that year.

 


	22. Girls

Chapter 22: Girls

Stan is working on his latest book, which is the first in a children’s series entitled “The Rocky Boys,” about a group of five ten-year-old boys from a small Rocky Mountain town who go on the most absurd adventures.  The first book is entitled _The Stick of Truth_ , and Stan is finalizing the last chapter before sending it to the editors.

Kyle is going over some paperwork for the DCCC.  Rob is at the movies with his friends.  Ryan is getting ready for a date.

“So, you excited about this date tonight?” Kyle asks, looking up.

“Yeah.  I’m also nervous because it’s a blind date.  Ashley always sets me up with awesome girls, but I like to know who the girl is first.”

“Speaking of whom, I haven’t heard Rob talk about her.  Is everything okay between them?” Kyle wonders concerning his other son.

“She dumped him.  Left him for Derek.”

“Again?!  That’s the third time this year!”

“Yeah, explains why Rob’s been acting like a mopey bitch on the rag all week.”

“Language!” Kyle warns him.

“Sorry.  But yeah, every time they break up, Connor and I always pick up the pieces.  Connor is a saint, continuing to be his best friend.  Hell, Rob’s lucky I put up with him as my brother.”

Kyle laughs and shakes his head, thinking this sounds too familiar.

“Anyway, she’ll be here any minute.”

“The girl is picking the guy up?” Stan asks, getting up for a quick stretch.

“Ashley said she doesn’t believe in typical dating conventions.”

The doorbell rings.

Ryan opens it.  It’s Lila Tomlin, known as “Miss Perfect” by her peers.  “Oh, hey Lila, come in.”

He walks Lila to Stan and Kyle.  “Lila, these are my fathers, Stan and Kyle.  Dad, Daddy, this is Lila.  She’s in most of my classes.”

The three get acquainted and make light conversation.

Kyle and Stan go back to work and then cuddle up on the couch to watch TV.  Stan assures Kyle that Ryan is a good boy who can take care of himself, and that they have to get used to their sons being teenage boys.  Ryan and Rob walk into the house around 11:00, looking distraught and upset.

“Home before curfew on a Friday night?” Stan asks in a stunned tone.  “What happened?  Bad date?”

“Try no date,” Ryan replies.

“Lila went home shortly after she and Ryan left here,” Rob explains.

Stan and Kyle try to apologize to Ryan for saying or doing something that might have offended Lila, but Ryan cuts them off.

“Lila has a problem with the fact that Rob and I are being raised by two daddies.  I told her to suck my balls, and then I walked to the diner near the theater and waited for Rob,” Ryan said flatly.

“She’s a bitch,” Rob assures Ryan.  “You should hear the shit Anna says about her.”

Normally, the boys aren’t allowed to swear like that, but given the situation, the Marsh-Broflovski clan just nods in agreement.

Ryan and Rob go upstairs and go to bed.  Kyle sighs, and Stan holds him tightly on the couch.

 


	23. Mature

Chapter 23: Mature

 _Stick of Truth_ is a major success, and Stan is already working on the second book in the series, entitled _The Fractured but Whole_.  He wants to give this book a bit more of a mature feel while still maintaining his young adult audience. 

For some inspiration, he decides to see what Rob and Ryan are reading.  When he pulls a book from Rob’s shelf, he notices a thin wrapper fall out.

Condoms haven’t changed very much, if at all, in the past nearly 25 years since he started using them.

Rob gets home from school, sees the book on the dining room table, and figures things out before Stan even shows him the packet.

“Ashley and I have been together for six months straight, and we’ve dated beforehand!  She’s great.  We’re very careful and very safe.”  Despite the fact that Stan wants to smack Rob upside the head repeatedly for having sex in his teens, he’s also proud that his son is handling himself with confidence and maturity.  Rob ends his speech with, “Please don’t tell Daddy!”

Stan takes his reading glasses off and pinches the bridge of his nose.  “Okay, fine.  This will be our little secret, considering Daddy’s cholesterol has been sky high as of late.  We don’t need to pay for medical bills _and_ two boys in college, right?”

“Thank you,” Rob sighs, hugging his dad. 

Stan hands him the wrapper and just as he’s halfway up the stairs, Stan calls, “Rob?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Ryan’s not…” he trails off. “Nah, never mind.”

Rob disappears into his room, sighing in relief.  If Dad or Daddy ever find out that Ryan lost his at 13, Ryan’s ass would be kicked into kingdom come.

 


	24. Leaving

Chapter 24: Leaving

Rob and Ryan are working on their college applications.  Ryan is dead set on pre-med, and Rob is looking at business administration, finance, or political science.  No matter what major they consider, Kyle’s advice is simply “Go to Georgetown.”  Just to see if he’s even listening to them, one night during dinner, Ryan says he wants to major in feminist theory.  Kyle simply replies “Go to Georgetown” before taking another bite of the pork roast that Stan made.  He then gasped and asked “Feminist WHAT?!”  Rob and Stan tried to stifle their laughter as best as they could, knowing that Ryan was just testing Kyle.

One day when Kyle’s working late, Stan tells the boys they can go wherever they want and study whatever they want.  No one really uses their degree in the end, he assures them.

“You and Daddy did,” Rob points out. 

Ryan decides on Georgetown but insists on staying in the dorms.  Rob chooses NYU and has a conversation with his dads when they find out that’s where his girlfriend is going.

“I’m not following Ashley to NYU; she’s following me.”

“I’m not sure I’m down with this,” Stan says a little later, even though he’s the one that told the boys to listen to their hearts.  As he and his husband get cozy in the living room, Stan asks, “What if I would have followed Wendy to Berkeley?”

“Dude, you would have crashed and burned before orientation ended,” Kyle replies distractedly as he’s finishing an e-mail to the DNC.

“Okay, then.  What if Wendy would have followed me to UC-Boulder?”

“You’d have married her instead, and I’d probably have married Bebe.”

“Psh,” Stan scoffs.

“Wendy?  Who’s Wendy?” Ryan asks as he descends the stairs.

“Yeah, and who’s Bebe?” Rob asks as he follows his brother.

“Two girls from a previous life,” Stan reassures his boys.

Later, when they’re sure Stan and Kyle are asleep, they sneak downstairs to the wooden chest in the living room to try to find a yearbook.

“What do you think they looked like?” Ryan asks Rob when their search proves fruitless and they put everything back neatly and go to bed.

“Dude, you know that they were hot.  I mean, our Dads were the coolest guys in high school.  I’m sure they scored mad babes,” Rob replies.

“Wendy.  I’m thinking short, blonde, slender, nice smile?” Ryan asks.

“Yeah, I’d say that’s about right.  Bebe.  I’d guess tall for a woman, brunette, curvy, big tits?” Rob wonders.

“I’d say so,” Ryan nods.  “Hey Rob?  Can you imagine Dad or Daddy marrying anyone else?  A woman at that?”

Rob thinks a moment.

“No, but man, that was ages ago.  I don’t think they’d have married back then.”

“You know, though, I hope I’m like that when I get married that long, though,” Ryan cuts in.

Rob is silent.

“You know, happy, confiding in each other, leaving the last of the Cheesy Poofs.  Not divorced, fighting, and sick of each other.”

“Ry?”

“Yeah, Rob?”

“Do you think that happens if you marry too young?”

“No.  I think it happens if you and your mate are incompatible.  Why do you ask?”

“I’m thinking of asking Ashley to marry me.”

 


	25. Engagement

Chapter 25: Engagement

During fall break, Rob calls Stan and Kyle to tell them that he popped the question to Ashley and she accepted.  Ryan is home visiting when Rob calls, and exclaims in relief, “Dammit, it was so hard keeping it in this long!”

His dads shout “Why didn’t you say anything?!” 

Ryan replies, “Because you two need less stress!”

“Dude, he’s only _eighteen_!  He’s way too young!” Stan tells Kyle.

“You and Wendy exchanged promise rings at eighteen.  That’s an engagement in all but name,” Kyle reminds him.

“Yes, but that lasted what?  Nine months?” Stan scoffs.

“You were almost engaged at eighteen, Dad?” Ryan asks Stan.  He’s nice enough to his dads to get a couple of yearbooks pulled out from under the bed.

“Blonde,” Ryan tells Rob later.  “Bebe’s blonde, curvy, hot, the biggest pair of Double D’s ever.  She looks like a fucking model, dude.  Onto Wendy.  Taller than average, long, flowing black hair, pretty face.  I’ll take pics of them and text them to you.  You _must_ see the girls our dads dated.  I’ll also send you pics of when our dads were ten, of Uncle Kenny in that parka, of Uncle Cartman being as big as a house, and Uncle Butters looking like a total dork!”

Rob’s break is too short to justify buying a train ticket to DC, so he and Ashley spend Thanksgiving with Cartman, Heidi, and their two children, both girls.  One is a year older than Ryan and Rob, and the other is a year younger.

Stan and Kyle’s house is full of Ryan’s college friends, Ike, his wife, and their son.  The students love Stan’s books and are entranced by Kyle’s “fucking awesome” political job.  One student tries to get into a political discussion with Kyle, but Stan cuts that short, insisting on “no politics at dinner,” because it would be nice to escape from it for at least an hour.


	26. Devastation

Chapter 26: Devastation

The twins are college seniors.  The third book in “The Rocky Boys” series, entitled _Mysterion’s Revenge_ , is published and is the most successful book in the series so far.  Kyle is promoted to COO.

Ryan receives a letter of acceptance from the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.  Rob gets a job offer as a financial analyst at the corporation where Cartman is CEO.  He and Ashley have selected a date for their wedding: May 14, the day they decided to take their relationship more seriously.  The ceremony’s venue is the National Cathedral (Ashley’s family is Episcopalian), and the reception’s venue is a fancy banquet hall in the Georgetown neighborhood.

When December finals are over, Rob, Ashley, and their friends go out to celebrate having only one semester left.  Rob and Ashley leave around 1 A.M. and as they make a turn at a busy intersection, a drunk driver smashes into their car, sending them crashing into a telephone pole.

Rob wakes up to see Stan, Kyle, Ryan, Andrew, and Ashley’s family encircled around him with glassy eyes.  He asks what’s wrong and how Ashley is doing.  They say nothing until a doctor walks in.  Rob angrily insists for news on Ashley’s condition.  The doctor talks, but all Rob hears are four words:

“She didn’t make it.”

 


	27. Depression

Chapter 27: Depression

Rob takes a semester-long leave of absence.  He’s too grief-stricken to care that he won’t be graduating in May with his friends.

He spends the first month wandering around the house like a zombie.  Ryan starts coming home a lot more often.  Kyle comforts Rob as much as he can, and Stan cooks a lot.  However, neither of the three know how to help.

Rob regains some sense of life in March, and happiness starts to return to the Marsh-Broflovski household.  The joy is short-lived, however, when Shelly calls to tell them that Sharon lost her battle with Stage 4 breast cancer. 

It dawns on Stan during the funeral that he and Shelly are the only surviving Marshes.  When it’s time to figure out how to handle the assets, Stan and Shelly decide it’s best that she rent the house out to a struggling family that she knows really needs a place to live.  Other assets are either split equally or given away.

Ryan graduates from Georgetown with the highest GPA in his class and is informed a week later that he will be attending Johns Hopkins on a full ride.

Rob goes back to NYU for summer classes and graduates in August with high honors in the business program. 

 


	28. Birthday-versary

Chapter 28: Birthday-versary

It isn’t until their sons graduate college and enter the real world that Stan and Kyle grasp the concept of the term “empty nester.”  Rob’s been living in New York for the past three years working as a financial analyst in Cartman’s company.  Ryan is attending med school in Baltimore and selects Houston to fulfill his residency requirement.

Rob calls daily and Skypes weekly.  Ryan calls once or twice a week and Skypes monthly.

Stan and Kyle decide to combine their birthdays and their 25th wedding anniversary into one “Birthday-versary” party.  They pick a weekend in July, figuring it’s a decent halfway point between their birthdays and invite everyone. 

The morning of the party, Kyle stands shirtless looking at himself in the mirror, realizing how old he’s getting and how chubby he’s getting in the places that Stan hasn’t.  Stan walks in, hugs Kyle from behind, and places seductive kisses all over.  “Mmm, morning handsome,” he purrs into Kyle’s ear. 

Kyle sighs.

“Something wrong, Kye?”

“I should start working out,” Kyle sighs.

Stan lets out a sarcastic chuckle. “Dr. Robinson’s been telling you that for the past ten years, dude.  I don’t see why you’d start listening now.” 

“I think these,” Kyle pinches the flab on his sides, “are convincing me.”

“Aww,” Stan says, kissing Kyle on the cheek.  “I love your little love handles.” 

“Shut up.  You’re just saying that to make me feel better about being an old man.”

“ _Kyle_ ,” Stan says firmly, “we’re _both_ getting old.  We’re in our 50s for God’s sake!”

It’s a great party.  Ryan and Rob make it and bring their girlfriends, Elise and Victoria, respectively.  The neighbors, Stan’s associates, Kyle’s work buddies, as well as Kenny, Cartman, Butters, Charlotte, Token, Clyde, Shelly, Andrew, and Connor all attend.  Gerald and Sheila stay home, claiming to be too old.  However, they send a card and a truckload of money.

The party ends around 1 AM.  Ryan, Rob, Elise, Victoria, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters all volunteer to spend the night and help clean up.  When Ryan is sure Elise is asleep, he goes over to Stan and Kyle, who are entangled on the living room couch.

“Hey, guys?”

“Yeah, what’s up, Ry?” Kyle asks his son.

 “Well, Elise and I have been together since the first year of med school, and I really love her…”

“I think I know where this is going,” Stan cuts him off.

“Yeah.  I’m going to propose to Elise tomorrow night.”


	29. Old

Chapter 29: Old

Ryan and Elise turn out to be the perfect couple, and Stan and Kyle grow to love her.  The wedding is set for March.

In January, they travel to Houston to meet the in-laws.  Elise is originally from Winnetka, Illinois, but her parents retired to Houston a few years ago.  Stan is relieved to be escaping the winter cold, but Kyle has this paranoid fear about fundamentalist rednecks jumping out and calling them hellbound sodomites.  Stan points out that they’re going to Houston, a major city with a prominent LGBT community and the only major U.S. city with a transgender mayor.

Elise’s parents take a quick liking to the Marsh-Broflovski couple.

The wedding arrives.  Stan and Kyle are happy for their boy and shed a few joyful tears. 

Gerald looks frail and feeble at the wedding.  Stan and Kyle make it their mission to spend as much quality time with Sheila and Gerald as possible for the week they’re in Houston together.

Gerald dies six months after the wedding, and Kyle and Stan fly to Colorado to help Sheila.  Ike flies in as well.  Sheila insists that she’s fine and that they can stay in a hotel, but all three boys stay in the Broflovski residence.

The day after the funeral, Stan and Kyle take a stroll around town.  As they walk past the elementary school, they see a man who looks like Craig reprimanding a student.  As the child turns his back to him and walks away, the man flips him off.  Yup, that’s definitely Craig, they conclude.

They walk up to him, shake hands, and briefly talk.  Craig is the principal of South Park Elementary, and Kenny has just been hired as its guidance counselor.  Stan and Kyle quietly chuckle at the thought.  They imagine Craig flipping off parents and students, and Kenny giving sexual advice to small kids. 

“I feel so old,” Kyle sighs as they walk around town.  Stan wraps his arm tightly around Kyle and kisses him on the forehead.

 


	30. Grandpas

Chapter 30: Grandpas

Kyle is eager to fly out to Houston when it’s time to go see their new grandson.

Ryan is on cloud nine when he goes to pick up his dads at the airport.  He tells them all about the new baby--- Matthew Stone Marsh-Broflovski--- 7 pounds 4 ounces, 21 inches long, brown hair, and sapphire blue eyes that rivaled Stan’s in radiance.

They do some catching up in the car.  Ryan tells them about the last days of Elise’s pregnancy and what being in the delivery room and seeing his son being born was like.  He takes them to their hotel to check them in, and then the three men drive over to his and Elise’s apartment.

Ryan welcomes his fathers in with a whisper (Elise is sleeping), and the three spend the next half hour standing over the crib, cooing at the baby and talking in small voices.  The newborn makes cross-eyed yawns at them.  When the baby falls asleep, Ryan makes lunch for everyone and wakes Elise.  After a couple hours, the baby starts to cry, and Elise goes to get him, walking around the living room and calming him down.

The afternoon is spent talking and playing with the baby.  Around 5, Stan suggests that the new parents deserve a bit of a break.  He and Kyle will cook and maybe they can invite Elise’s parents over.  They say they’ll be over in a couple hours.

Stan cooks his famous chicken and vegetable stir fry, and Kyle makes the white rice.

The baby is sleeping when Elise’s parents come over, and the extended family sits down to a nice dinner.  They discuss the differences between life in Texas and DC, some non-controversial news items, and finally, during dessert and coffee, they admit to liking Stan’s books.  Stan and Kyle look at each other happily, realizing that life with the in-laws may not be so bad after all.

The baby starts to cry, and everyone but Elise’s father gets up to get him.  Elise and Ryan sit down immediately.  Then Kyle.  Then Stan.

Elise’s mother brings Matt into the living room and sits with him while everyone else finishes their desserts.  When the cups are put in the sink and the paper plates are thrown away, Matt begins to cry again.

“Here,” Stan extends his arms, “I’ll take him.”

Matt calms down quickly as Stan gently bounces him against his shoulder.  “I remember doing this with you,” Stan whispers to Ryan, “Of course, you were a hell of a lot bigger.”

“You’re really good with him,” Elise’s father remarks to Stan.

Rob gets married in the summer of the following year to a woman named Rachel.  Stan and Kyle both like her, although Stan finds her a bit bland.  However, she’s a good woman and a good wife, and since she convinced Rob to take a job offer that brought him back to Washington, D.C., neither Stan nor Kyle ever have a bad word to say about her.

 


	31. Phew

Chapter 31: Phew

Sheila dies the year the boys turn 60.  Kyle has a heart attack two weeks after Stan’s 61st birthday.

Stan kneels next to Kyle, completely denying what’s happening.  He can’t lose Kyle while they still have their golden years to enjoy!  All he can do is pray to the God he’s rarely ever prayed to.  The paramedics arrive, and Stan climbs into the back of the ambulance as it speeds off to the hospital.

Stan sits in the waiting room with his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down.  He remembers how far medicine has advanced since he was a kid.  He recalls watching Jimmy Valmer on CNN.  Jimmy went through intensive speech and physical therapy, and was eventually able to walk without crutches and speak without stuttering.  He is now the most prominent journalist in America.  It is Stan’s only reassurance.

When his name is finally called, Stan looks up.  The intern tells Stan that it was only a mild attack and that Kyle will be fine.  Stan is so relieved that he hugs her fiercely.

Stan refuses to leave the hospital, visiting hours be damned.  The doctors and nurses give up after spending three hours trying to get him to leave.  When Kyle wakes up, Stan unleashes tears of joy.  They exchange some happy words, and then Stan tells him, “Don’t scare me like that again, Kyle!  Remember our promise.  You’re not supposed to die until _I_ do!”

When Stan and Kyle get home, Stan immediately throws out anything with saturated fat or high cholesterol.  He’s making sure Kyle stays alive.

 


	32. Finality

Chapter 32: Finality

Rob and Ryan take their families to DC for vacation and to visit Stan and Kyle.

One day, Stan’s publisher sends over some fan letters.  Normally, publishers handle mail, but occasionally, he’d send some mail that he deemed noteworthy.

Ryan gets the mail, and he and Rob spread the letters out on the dining room table.  Some familiar names pop up.  One letter is from Tweek Tucker. 

Ryan chuckled.  “Tweek.  Yeah, I remember our dads mentioning him.  They said he spazzed all the time.”

Another letter is from Nichole Black.

“Oh, yes, Nichole.  Daddy almost asked her out until Uncle Cartman set her up with Token.  Thank God for that,” Rob sighed in relief.

“Rob?” Ryan pulls out a letter and shows it to his brother, “Check _this_ one out!”

The return address is Wendy McMahon, 1765 Wesleyan Avenue, Carmel Indiana 46032.

“No way,” Rob responds.  “That was what, 50 years ago?”

“Sure, but remember, our dads and Wendy grew up together.”

“Yeah, but Wendy is a fairly common name, dude.”

“Then, why would the publisher deem it noteworthy enough to send here?”

The twins show the envelope to their dads.  Stan and Kyle read it, and it is indeed Wendy Testaburger…well, McMahon now.  They humph in a few parts and smile in others.  It’s a fairly short letter.  One line in particular stands out:

**_“Our relationship may not have worked out, Stan, but I want to let you and Kyle know that the friendship the three of us shared will never be forgotten."_ **

The letter gives them the sense of finality and closure they didn’t have 50 years ago.

 


	33. Golden

Chapter 33: Golden

Kyle retires at age sixty-nine.  Stan completes his last book tour ever.  His last book is an autobiography.  Ryan suggests that they take the most lavish, expensive, and crazy vacation ever, preferably in Europe or somewhere in the Caribbean.  Stan and Kyle have been out of the country before, but those trips were always work-related.  They pondered going on vacation, but that was a month before Sheila’s death, which convinced them to stay home.

Rob sends them travel magazines and brochures and e-mails them links to travel websites.  They narrow down their list but never make a decision.

A month later, Ike turns 65, and the boys call to wish him a happy birthday.  Ike thanks them for the tickets to the concerto he’s always wanted to go see.

On Stan and Kyle’s 50th anniversary (not their wedding anniversary, their _official_ anniversary), Ike calls them and gleefully tells them that their present will be a vacation.  Ike bankrolls his brother and brother-in-law’s trip, and Stan and Kyle spend three months wandering around Europe.  They see the historic sights and enjoy the good food and drink.

 


	34. Friends

Chapter 34: Friends

Stan and Kyle are well into their 70s and enjoying retirement.  They still call each other dude, watch football, swear like sailors, and try to see their old friends once or twice a year, especially the other three considered part of the original gang.

However, the gang of five can’t live forever.

Kenny is the first one to go.  He dies of a brain aneurysm at age 75.  Unlike the million other times he’s died, this one is for real.  Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Butters are too grief-stricken to even comment.  Stan can’t even say “They killed Kenny!” and Kyle can’t say “You bastards!”

Butters is next.  He is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when he’s 74 and dies from pneumonia, complicated by the disease, at 81 years old.  Stan and Cartman feel that Butters didn’t deserve Alzheimer’s, but Kyle tells them that it’s probably for the best.  After all, given the fact that Butters grew up with abusive parents and was mistreated in elementary school, including by him, Stan, and Cartman, those memories were long-gone when he died.

The number of funerals that Stan and Kyle attend continues to pile up.  Clyde, Craig, Red, and Heidi all die during the Kenny-Butters time span. 

There is still good news even among the bad, though.

Matt is admitted to Georgetown alongside his best friend Randolph Parker Mullins, whom he affectionately calls “Trey.”  The two young men, who have been best friends since they were four years old, share a very warm bromance.  They major in film.  Matt has lunch with his grandfathers once a week, given that he’s within a 20 mile radius of their house.  Stan and Kyle wonder if there is more to Matt and Trey’s bond than bromance, but they shrug it off.

On the night of Kyle’s 82nd birthday, Stan finds Kyle crying at the edge of the bed.  Stan asks his husband what’s wrong, and Kyle replies that he’s afraid because everyone they know is either dead or dying.  Stan replies that he shouldn’t worry, because no matter what happens to either of them, their bond and love is everlasting, and not even death can destroy it.

 


	35. Ill

Chapter 35: Ill

Stan and Kyle spend their 65th anniversary with a home-cooked meal and cuddles on the couch.

That winter, there’s a nasty flu epidemic.  Matt calls Ryan from his and Trey's LA condo to complain about how sick he and Trey are.  Ryan calls Stan and Kyle and laughs that he did the same thing back in the day.

Stan gets sick first and complains about how horribly he feels.  He sprays Lysol on everything so Kyle doesn’t catch it.  Two days later, they’re both miserably ill.  Rob sends Rachel to bring them soup, and he checks up on them the next day.

They’re sick for two weeks.  Every time Kyle sneezes, he whines, “I’m too old for this.”  Stan replies, “I’m too sick for this.”  It’s not until the third week of soup, tea, and antibiotics that they start waking up and feeling a little better.

One morning, Stan doesn’t wake up.

 


	36. Numb

Chapter 36: Numb

Rob tries to get Kyle to stay with his family in Falls Church, but to no avail.  Kyle refuses to leave the house.  Ryan flies in from Texas, and he and Rob stay in their old room.  Elise, Matt, and Trey all stay in Rob and Rachel’s house.

The twins make funeral arrangements and thank the neighbors for their meals and gifts.  They show Kyle the letters and sympathy cards from family, friends, and co-workers, but he doesn’t touch them.  He sets out two coffee mugs in the morning before looking at his boys and then sets out a third.  He sets two plates at lunch and two at dinner.

Kyle wanders around the house aimlessly, feeling completely numb.

Stan’s publisher sends over a package of fan mail that they thought the family might want to see.  Ryan and Rob sort them out, putting anything nice or noteworthy in one pile.

“Rob?” Ryan asked.

“Hmm?”

“Looks like our fathers’ high school flames love sending fan mail.”

The return address is Bebe Locke, 1034 Del Prado Boulevard, Santa Monica California.

“Well, there’s only one Bebe that we know of…” Rob trails off.

They give the letter to Kyle when he wakes up from his afternoon nap.  For a moment, it seems to breathe some life back into him. 

The night before the funeral, Kyle agrees to go to Rob’s house to have dinner with the family, spend the night, and leave for the church with everyone in the morning.

 


	37. Forever

Chapter 37: Forever

Stan’s funeral was packed to the brim full of friends, neighbors, associates, and endless fans.  In attendance from the remaining South Park gang survivors are Token, Jimmy, Cartman, and Tweek.  Tweek looks frail and ready to fall over any minute.  Everyone wagers the next funeral will be Tweek's.  Kyle barely contains himself as he delivers his eulogy.

Despite his family begging him to stay at Rob and Rachel’s for an extra day or two the night after the funeral, Kyle insists that he’s ready to go home.  His family, along with Cartman, Token, Jimmy, Andrew, and Connor, each offer to spend at least the night with him in his home.  Once again, he turns them down.

Matt and Trey drive Kyle back to Alexandria, unsuccessfully trying to convince him to let them stay over.  Kyle thanks them for the ride and accepts his grandsons’ (he counts Trey as a grandson) offer to walk him inside.  They stay for about five minutes to make sure Kyle doesn’t need anything else and then leave.

With everyone gone, Kyle pulls one- just one- mug out of the cabinet and makes himself a cup of hot tea.  He takes it up to the bedroom and sets it on the nightstand to let it cool.  He gets a glass of water and then takes his arthritis medicine.  There’s something that catches his eye.  A black leather-bound journal sits behind the cup of tea.  He chugs his tea in a few sips, puts the mug down, and opens the notebook.

The small print is hard to read without his reading glasses, and he doesn’t remember the pages being this hard to turn.  The words are still there, crisp and clean, hardly faded, however.  He stumbles upon a poem about friendship, and he feels the tears coming back.  Apparently, he was wrong, and hadn’t cried himself dry yet.  He sets the journal on the pillow next to him and buries his face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Kye?” a deep, baritone voice echoes throughout the room.  Kyle looks up.

Stan is sitting at the edge of the bed, looking no older than 18-21, wearing his trademark Denver Broncos jersey, jeans, and Doc Martens that he got for his seventeenth birthday.

Kyle opens his mouth and is barely able to reply “S-Stan!” because his sobs are still too strong.  The 84-year-old fears that he may be in the beginning stages of dementia if this is any indication.

“It’s me,” Stan tells him.  It’s definitely _his_ voice and not any ghost voice.  The only special feature added is the youthful, yet masculine, twinge added in.

“Stan, you’re-“ Kyle chokes out before Stan cuts in again.

“I’m fine, Kye.”

Kyle brushes the tears from his eyes, suddenly aware of the bags and wrinkles on his face for the first time in years.

“I’m okay.  Everything’s going to be okay,” Stan says, brushing his shaggy raven hair.

“The doctors.  They said…they said it was all painless, that you didn’t feel a thing.”

“I didn’t,” Stan tells him, “I just fell asleep.”

“It took me such a long time to contact anyone,” Kyle whispers, his voice still hoarse, “It was actually Rob that had to call me.”

“The boys are really worried about you.”

“I know,” Kyle replies, stiffly getting out of bed so he can get closer to Stan.  Stan moves easily, thanks to the youthful bodies that God gives the deceased in heaven, and sits close to Kyle.

“S-Stan?”

“Yeah, Kye?”

“Is it my time?  Are you here to tell me I’m going with you?”

“No, I’m just here to say everything’s okay.  But when it _is_ your time, I’ll be the first one you see,” Stan says with his trademark smile and radiant blue eyes.

Kyle wants so badly to grab his hand but is scared that it won’t be here.  “So, what’s it like?”

“Heaven?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s great.  Everything’s blissful and everyone gets along.  Our families are there.  Kenny and Butters are there.  Chef is there, and let’s just say his food is _truly_ defines the word heavenly.”

Kyle clenches his jaw and nods.

“I want to go with you, Stan,” Kyle says desperately.

“I know.  It’ll be soon, Kye, I promise.”

“You know, this week has been the longest that we’ve truly been apart.  I don’t know how to go on living life without you.”

“Kye, remember when I saved you from that cult and we vowed to be super best friends?”

“How could I forget?”

“We agreed that not even death could sever the everlasting bond of friendship that we had.  Do you really think it could sever something as strong as our love?” he asks, brushing some of his raven hair from his eyes.

“Are you going to visit the boys?” Kyle asks.  A Stan that he remembers from their early college years gently places his hands on Kyle’s frail, arthritic shoulders.  Kyle questions whether he can feel them or not.  Stan turns his face to Kyle’s.

“We’ll go visit them together, okay?” Stan whispers.

“I love you, Stan,” Kyle says weakly.

“I love you too, Kyle.  Remember, what you and I have is forever,” Stan says before kissing Kyle.  It’s just a three-second gentle kiss, but Kyle is absolutely positive that he feels it. 

When he opens his eyes, Stan is gone.  The notebook is in his hand.

Kyle wipes his eyes dry, puts the notebook away, and turns out the light.

“Forever,” Kyle repeats to himself as he falls asleep, dreaming of ten-year-old versions of himself and Stan cuddling at Stark’s Pond and watching the sunset.

**THE END**

 


End file.
